25D

Wow. There's basically no leg room here. 

Last minute arrival for this flight so no complaints really. 

Hoping for empty middle seat in compensation for sitting in the weeks. 

Also boarded from gate 24 which is in the bowels of the airport. Never been there before. 

16C

Siberia. 

Back of the back door plane. 

Off to the tron 

12D

Half of Auckland appears to be on this flight. The other half are out there driving around. So far no neighbour but I expect that to change. 

Long day but a good day. Dunno When I'll do all the rats and mice emails tho. They're stacking up like planes on the tarmac. 

Had a lovely gin and tonic at koru. It gets made for you as well. 

Emergency exit row. Time to go.  

9D

Think there's an mp next to me - well, across the currently empty seat. Am fretting that she's Amy Adams the anti-feminist minister for women (or is that Louise upston?) clearly I need to upgrade on my pollies 101. 

Possibly she is neither but what I can confirm is her pair of red fuck me shoes. They are a lot - esp first thing of a day. 

You may note my more sensible rocker boots peaking in from the left. Always keep left. 

1A

Front row. Hassle with bags but hei aha. Longish day but a good one and Maria was fun to travel with. 

Traffic was remarkably ok for labour weekend Friday - I think Maria has powers...

Dodged Ian's request that we drop him at Parnell and then hit the road hard. 

I am sooo happy it's Friday and a long weekend. Good times. 

No snarks here. 

Sneaky view from the porthole

10C

It's raining for to bust but hopefully not in Auckland. 

I have my trusty blunt umbrella just in case (thanks Geoff). 

Today I have a travel companion - Maria is coming along for a day in my working life. Sorry that's way more fun already. 

10E

I don't know how late this flight is running but it worked out super well for me. Can't even bring myself to be annoyed about being the jellybean. 

I do think that it being 459 and almost half past six it's pretty late. 

Good day. Glad to be heading home. 

Two irritating things. Woman in front appears to verbalise - even explain - her every thought. Also she laughs excessively. 

Harsh. Judgy. That's the way it goes. 

Now. Stop it. 

One more thing. She says parra-parra-oomoo and notes that it's very hard to say. Well. She should know. 🙄

9D

Gate change and a late charge across the terminal and thru another security check. 

Gah. 

Still. Looking like my neighbour is an empty 💺 

8A

Window 

Seat next to me blocked - apparently

So. Koru hour and a view. 

6D

Woo hoo!

Not the jellybean and an empty seat as my neighbour 💺 

Auckland here we come

3E

very unusually for me I'm heading home mid-morning.

Have to be the jellybean and there's a lot of school holiday traffic, but otherwise I quite like it. Feels like travelling against the rush hour tide.

Ok. So it's a ladies row. One asked if she was in the correct seat; the other was keen to sneak past rather than wait for me to move so she could access the window seat. Urgh. 

Oh well. Door shorting. Away we go. 

6D

So far no neighbour.  Hoping.

Quite like these middle of the day flights - time to have a bit of a catch up at work, no need to wake up early, and most likely fewer people on the plane.

I have a 60 page pre meeting document to read today, so will have to work during the flight - not my favourite thing.

Also, as ever have stacked extra meetings into the day. Because, why not?

13C

Off to Hamilton in a back door plane. 

Greens behind and beside me. Wonder what's happening in the Waikato today?

Late call due to captain going off sick. Replacement had to fly up from chch. 

Cabin crew has a nifty short blond do. It's a nice change from buns and French pleats. 

10E

Men and their pockets at security. I have things to say!

Meanwhile the 5.30 is a miracle!

And now, post takeoff in the largely empty plane, here I am the sole occupant of row 11. 

Ahhh, that's better 🍾

8D

Arrive at airport at sparrow fart for early flight. 

There's a fire thing on the Tarmac and a massive queue to get thru security. 

Finally make it to koru and get my coffee only to find we're at gate 22. Other end of the terminal and another security queue. 

Not my finest ever start to the week. 

Phew. Made it. And not the jellybean. Like Charlie. 

4E

8B

Earlier flight. 

All my meetings have gone topsy turvy. 

Jelly bean. 

9A

Improbably arrived on time for the 6pm. 

Have lurgy. App keeps crashing. 

Over and out. 

4D

Here we go again. Full as. 

Hoping my pic won't get crushed in the overhead locker. 

Not going to work for a drink when we land. Going home. 

Coffee team at koru fixed me up with a fast flat white so no complaints there. Just the ticket. 

Plane full of Thames valley rugby dudes, plus assorted rugby hangers on folk. 

Must remember pic at other end. 

It's warmer here than Kerikeri and I'm one big sweatbox right now. 

Lockers shut. Must be all on apart from an odd waif or stray. 

Yup. There she is. And two more.  Even if they're not done, I am. 

Over and out.  

4B

Time to head home from the far north. Plane was late to Kerikeri and now we're finally boarding. 

As ever the person next to me acts like I've sat in the aisle seat purely to annoy them, while the next person in the queue doesn't want to make room for me to sit back down. 

Also there's a smell. Maybe mild and distant echo of vomit. I dunno. Now some guy is digging his arse into my arm for no reason I can fathom. 

I do hope I make the 3pm as my patience for being away is wearing thin. 

Oh. And some horrific Tory with enormous bottle black hair who was local body campaigning in the terminal and is now reading all about Kate and William. 

5B

Neighbour. Idiots behind me. People cutting lines. Full plane. Plane delayed. Over it. 

Meanwhile courier drives to my house and declines to put the tiny parcel into the letter box. 

Full snark. 

1B

Front row. Jelly bean. It's kind of a pain as all the hand luggage has to be stowed. 

Anyway, this is flight one of two. I'm off to keri keri and it's way more peaceful here than flapping round the office. 

Full of hope that 48 hours in the far north - bargaining aside - will be therapeutic. 

It's amazing how many people travel mid afternoon. They just keep piling onto the plane. 

Discovered that gate 16 is right by a gym so had a quick battle and took it over before takeoff. 

3E

Better row, worse seat. 

I am the jellybean. 

ENDS. 

6C

Ian's in row two. I'm back in six and I have a neighbour. Sigh. 

Nice weather though and signs are good for a prompt takeoff. 

Trying not to think about having to pack when I get home. 

4C

First time I didn't go beep at the security in an age. It's because I've taken off my Xmas bangles and replaced them with the mighty purple cord from Beth. 

So, bonus. 

Row 4 is sadly fully occupied but the upside is that I can earwig. They seem to be reviewing research proposals of some kind, prior to interviews (I think). 

Alternatively they are reviewing draft guidelines for research proposals and we're not quite as far along as my initial thought. 

Door closing. Off we go. 

Mighty purple cord

Footnote: pilot announcement - we expect our arrival at 38 minutes past seven. Clearly a child of the digital age. 

15B

I am cheating because I'm not on the plane yet - but I'm in Hamilton which is unusual so qualifies for a snark.

The new Koru lounge is soooo much better than the old one, plus the lounge host just brought me another glass of wine - so no complaints here - even if my earlier flight is now delayed so it's less early but still so far better than the 4.35. 

Also there is a wanker - self-proclaimed pale male, but not stale pale male, though I beg to differ - talking loudly and endlessly to various people - about landing in the space - and the leadership training - and the development point of view - and visible touch points.  

Dear god how we all hate him.

So much.

But the broccoli and cheese deep fried snacks and the ginger slice and the wine are deadening the pain.

Yay Friday. Let's go home.

13C

Hamilton. 

Plane is already wobbling and we're still parked. Good grief. 

And now I have a neighbour, to boot. 

Doh!

 

9D

I love the Auckland domestic koru lounge staff. It's as if they are there just to make my life better. 

No snarks given this day. 

One other thing... I teamed up with Anne Tolley to get a fellow passenger to stop using her phone (an actual phone call) as we taxied down the runway. 

Actual miracle. 

Obviously the wayward passenger corrected her behaviour following this joint intervention. 

Then we made friends as the plane attempted to land in Wellington. Twice. 

POST ENDS

2C

Henry turned up about two minutes before it was time to board the plane.  Even so he managed to scarf down some eggs, sausage, and a personally delivered cup of coffee.  Once he decided to board he stopped to issue some cheerful abuse on his way past me to the cheap seats further down the plane, causing my irritating neighbour to look up askance.

The value of flying gentlemen's [sic] hours is supposed to be an empty plane.  But my row filled up immediately, with a 'lady' who took a full five minutes to sort her self out.  Her puffy coat occupied most of my seat for a goodly period of time, while I stood sulking and texting.  

So mature.

Now she's doing the woman's weekly crossword and I'm thinking she probably likes john key.  Harrumph.

Ooh - and I forgot to mention that one of the cabin crew is 12 years old - swear to god they stole him from a school somewhere.  I never thought AirNZ would do the child labour thing, but now you know.

7F

Window seat

Maybe there'll be fun things to see?

Manukau harbour 

Marlborough Sounds 

9D

I always turn to the wrong side when I get D. Not sure why. This is flying ladies' hours, especially staying in town and grabbing a 15 minute taxi to the airport.  Strike one against the burbs. 

It's possible I'll have a free seat next to me - it's a wee bit soon to be sure but a definite maybe. 

Ok, so the UM is on the plane. Maybe that's everyone. 

There's a baby in the seat in front who is very keen on the hair of the man in front of them. It might be a longer hour for him. 

Door closed. Spare seat a go go. 

10B

It's pelting down outside. 

Also it took about 90 minutes to drive from north shore hospital to the airport - a new record for me. I had no cares, being booked on the 7pm flight, and was not surprised to hear what I thought was the 6pm plane close while i was still clearing security. 

Anyhoo, dull story bro. 

Turned out that good old nz463 to welly and Dunedin was late again. And on I jumped. Painful for the actual 463 people but relatively awesome for me. 

I'm the jellybean in ten bravo, but that's what you get when you cheat fortune and blag an earlier flight. 

Weather snapshot follows 

2D

I confess. 

To eavesdropping in the Koru lounge.

To waging a silent war on man spreaders.

To pouring myself two glasses of bubbly at one time, due to the relatively modest size of the glass.

To sometimes (OK, often) reading my book (a novel) in place of emails, policy drafts, other work-based documents while waiting for and sitting on the plane.

To loafing... Lest that gentle art be lost.

5E

They've squashed me onto the 5pm flight so my week in Auckland is all but done. It was so lovely to catch up with a bunch of mates - and meet some new ones. Solidarity, etc, and big ups to the CTU 😎👊🏼

Due to chocka-ness I get the middle seat. 

Exhilarating tarmac view... E noho ra Tamaki

6C

All of last week I stayed home.  Wellington commutes every day.

Now that's that for the next conceivable while and I'm back on the plane.

They're still fixing up the gate lounges at Welly airport so we were sent over to 24 to board.  That meant security twice, and a very early, then slow, boarding process.  Matters not, flight's not very full at all and I have a spare seat as a neighbour - my favourite thing.

Main other thing to occupy me is to remember my bag at the other end.  Marathon stay this week.  Don't go home til Thursday.

10B

Middle seat, but home an hour earlier. Hard to argue with that. 

5C

Today we're in one of the trans-Tasman planes - that means personal screens but no headphones.  You're welcome to look, "but you will require your own headphones."

It's August but no Kia ora magazine - not sure what that's about.

It's looking cloudy and bumpy - possibly most of the way cos the weather's pretty much same same all over the north island.

Thinking maybe back to my book - Dublin Murder Squad - epic series by Tana French.

11C

-- Are you prepared to help in the case of an emergency?

-- Sure thing

So, made it for the 5.30 flight home in time for a couple of mouthfuls of Chardonnay, then into the exit row.  So roomy...

The traffic was interesting from NSH to the airport - I do like the way Google maps sorts out alternatives, and doesn't even show irritation when its helpful suggestions are ignored.  It's also evidence based - offering comparative times for the various routes on offer.

Anyway, here I am, tucked in, possibly with a seat between me and my neighbour (life is good) and ready for Koru hour.

-- Why, don't mind if I do...

6F

I don't usually get window seats - not on the A320s, anyway.  

Today I nearly missed my boarding call, so engrossed in my phone call...  Something made me listen out for the announcement and the next minute it was phone down and running.

I was the last one on.

The pilot's just described the early stages of the flight as 'roller coaster' - and the link flights are currently suspended.  Can't wait.

Once I found row six I couldn't find a bag stash, plus I had to wrestle six fox off another passenger who'd (obviously) preferred it to echo - the horrible middle seat.  

-- Oh, she said, I'm so used to the window seat.

-- Oh well, I deadpan, like I care.

Door is now shut and we are ready to rock and roll.  Sick bag anyone?

Postscript

It was hardly bumpy at all, and the cloudscapes were spectacular. 

29A

You might think I'm irritated about the back of the plane, but you'd be wrong.  I drove up, grabbed my bags, cleared security, smiled at the Koru host and swapped my front row 5.30pm for a back row board now.  It's a minor miracle of travel.  

Presently I have the WHOLE BACK ROW to myself. Apart from the crappy leg room there's a weird sense of luxury about it.  

It means I'll be home in time to gripe about the rush hour traffic.  Yay rush hour traffic!

All alone in the back row...

2D

Not all that much to snark about today, other than getting up at 5am.  Felt more like 3am, but it got better as I got going.  Now they've fixed security at Wellington getting onto the plane is less of a scrum and I can actually wait in the lounge until they call the flight.  Progress.

G doesn't like this row but I do.  Lots of leg room; quick exit at the other end.  All good.

Today was supposed to be the new safety video but some kind of technical glitch meant they had to do a 'manual safety demonstration'.  I just can't listen anymore.

Woman next to me has the paper and is doing a bit of man spreading. Why, oh why?

Time to snag a biscuit for Charlie and settle back to my book.  Taking her sugary snacks is my penance for traveling a lot while she's not - or something like that.  Apparently they supply her emergency sugar hit needs in the mid- late-afternoon.